Can Reality Become a Real Problem?

“How we think about events creates the reality we experience". 

- Albert Ellis” The grandfather of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT)”

Life comprises a series of events, and we give each an interpretation or meaning that defines what we can do and who we become. We “create our reality” through these ascribed meanings and then gather evidence to support it.

Consider this: Two individuals face the same challenge of" failing a test." Yet, the realities they experience are very different. One person views failure as an event that can happen to anyone, recognizes that it doesn't define them as a "failure," and becomes more resilient and strives to improve. The other person, however, internalizes failure, declaring, "I am a failure," or "I always mess up," leading to feelings of inadequacy and depression.

It wasn't the "event of failing" that led to how they felt and responded; instead, it was what they  thought or concluded about themselves after "failing". The meanings we give to life experiences are the realities we create and hold immense power to make us "victims" or "victors."  

I want to acknowledge that in situations involving trauma or abuse, the events themselves may significantly impact the individual. Just separating one's self-worth from the traumatic event may not be enough to facilitate the healing process. Professional help may be essential.

In my next blog post, I will discuss more about patterns of thought. Please comment; I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

 "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he"-Proverbs 23:7

Reference

Corey, G. (2023). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (11th ed.). Cengage Learning US.

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.